Saturday, June 2, 2007

I have had some time to cool off!

I feel better today then I did a couple of days ago. I have been staying up all night and putting stuff on Ebay. So I can eat and pay bills. I saw my exhusband and his new girl friend pull up in a red car. He was telling her something as she looked at my house. He looked like he was about 200 pounds heavier. Probably still eating things right out of cans. He has a food fetish - it is his only true friend. Ha ha! Fat ASS!
We are suppose to get storms tonight or today as it maybe. I can't wait to hear thunder again. I can smell smoke from a cigarette. I think my neighbor goes out at night and smokes because I can smell it every once in a while.
I had a strange dream today (the reason why I say today is because I have chosen to sleep all day) I was the medium from my grandfather on my dad's side came in the form of three people - the younger, the middle and the older, to talk to my grandmother. I put both their hands together with a blue ticket (like the ones you get at a fair or something) she said she could feel something or him. You know how dreams are. The ticket hovered above her hand. My Aunt who was there left the room with my cousin. My father wanted to know a couple of things so I was playing medium for the whole thing. Then I went out - earlier in the dream my cousin annouced she and her husband were going to try to get pregnant again. While out in the garage, where they went - they were putting together 2 big chairs. My aunt thought I was a joke and my cousin was keeping to herself. My grandfather wanted me to tell her that she shouldn't have another child but wouldn't tell me why. I passed on the message. My grandfather had chinesses looks about him and I wonder if in his history there wasn't a chinesse blood line that came in to play. I have no idea but it may just be a look.
I still feel like people can go to hell and I will never trust anyone else ever again. It doesn't take much now to make a couple of decision in my mind come true. If you feel like your a good person and loves everybody - ask your self this question - can you like someone that is overweight with out wanting to put them on a diet - can you like someone who smokes - who drinks - who is of a different religion - gay - or even a different race. If you say no to any one of those questions then you are just a shallow human that follows the leader instead of taking the lead or being outside the box.
If you younger farts - out of the box means thinking for yourself, doing for yourself and not staying in the lines. You are your own person and have a imagination (something that was taken from you when you went to school.) You have been scared in to following the rules and not creating anything for yourself. I don't see very many new inventions coming from your generation.
I am watching a show about new houses and they have gone back to the 1970s in the way they do things. I guess that was the last generation that had brains, I don't know. Sad stuff!

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