One day at a time!

I had my hair done today. I am now all curly! It looks good and I like it. I like kinky curls most people don't. I watched a couple of movies this past couple of days and I think I needed a good laugh. I like my funny movies because that gives me a reason to laugh when everything else is going to bad.
I feel I don't want my ex back but I also feel the need to set the record stright - letting him know that what he did was wrong on so many levels - It was like everything he could not say to his ex wife when she left he felt the need to do to me. The person who did nothing but care for him and give to him.
If his mother ever knew what he said to me, I am sure she would be ashmed of him. I felt like she was like my mother and this would have shocked her to her core knowing what he said. People say things when they get upset but they don't tear the other person down - like I also said - I could not bring myself to read the whole letter - I zeroed in on words that stood out. She didn't raise him like that, he was raised with moral and a happy family atmostphere - not the garbage I saw.
I looked at what I said - I didn't say anything bad just wanting to know where I stood. I never directed painful words at him. I am glad it is over because what I know now I would have had walk on egg shells in the future!
The lesson learned from all this - Never trust anyone ever again! People don't care! People are takers and never give back! Love is just a word without meaning! Men lie! Never believe promises! No one will support you because they just don't care!
I am not going to date or meet anyone - even if they ask - I don't need people because people in my age range enjoy hurting others and taking others for a ride. They don't know how to give and love others. They don't even know if they can feel love! They are shallow and worthless to me. I am going to be writing a book and don't need a muse to keep me happy! I will never make love or have sex again. After all that happen I am not going to open myself up again to be hurt. If I could I would have my breast removed and things sewed up and taken out. I have no need for it so why have it! RIGHT!
I am in about five years - this is around and about time not exact - I am moveing to Yellowknife. I like it up there and I know I would be accepted there easier because there just isn't that many people to talk to. I probably won't talk to others anyways but it would be nice to know that I could if I want. People around here don't want me as a friend - not from the lack of trying - but I am not going to pay for friends anymore. I did that in the past - I think? I will never do that again - people will have to buy my friendship for a while.
I guess you can call that my life right now. I can't take another bad thing happening before I lose it. My cats are pushing it by breaking plates on my counters by pushing them off on to the floor. Then they puke and piss everywhere! I found they have worms! Yippy! Like I said - I can't take much more before I just lose it. I feel like I already have - I might get over things easily or give the appearence of it - but it is taking a toll and a bad toll on my heart. I feel like right now I can't feel for anything - I can laugh at movies but today I noticed that I don't talk with in a group of people. Family people. I just sit there!
Well I have rambled on enough and have told what too much! I feel like when I send my words out on to the web at least someone looks at them. Maybe not someone who cares but someone looks and maybe reads these. Someone is listening.